As I considered the readings this past week - it was in the context of endings and beginnings in a jam-packed two weeks; ending my time as a university student with my graduation, and new beginnings with the service of ordination to the diaconate and now, today, this commissioning here, at St. Johns. What leapt out to me as I reflected on all the events and these words- was the idea of being at home in ourselves, knowing our selves as called to service and all that that calling entails: knowing ourselves and others as God knows us - from the inside out - and being at home in mystery of our callings and in the process of discernment, moving forward in faith open to new possibilities - sometimes in the face of what our eyes, surface appearance or 'common sense would dictate.

Over and over again the theme of service to others, especially the vulnerable, has came to the fore in these weeks:
At my graduation, the Governor General Michaëlle Jean, received the honorary doctorate and she spoke of being a refugee, of being homeless. Her focus on that night was the role education plays in our lives; we also learned about the women's shelters and services she was responsible for founding in Montreal. A shelter for the vulnerable, care for those in need, both were spoken of at my graduation.

Then at the ordination on Tuesday night, the preacher, Peter John Hobbs, spoke about our ordination as deacons, how we are to be a model of the service to which all Christians are called - to proclaim the good news of the gospel in serving the poor, the sick, the marginalized, the weak and the vulnerable. He used graphic examples of people being excluded, abused, ill and alone, vulnerable and suffering - and not four hours after he spoke, a young homeless man was knifed to death when he objected to someone urinating on the spot under the bridge where he slept - the spot he called home.

Obviously this our common calling as servants to the vulnerable- is real and meets a real need in all our world and especially in this community of which are a part and the community which surrounds us - within which we live and work.

The world might say there is no profit in this service - so why do it? Protect yourself, put up protective barriers, and indeed often we do. So how are we to live as servants - how do we know this is the right path to take, which is the right action to engage? It is not simply by judging with our minds and logic. It is not by slavishly following tradition or a literal interpretation of scripture or denying tradition and scripture. It involves a process that today we call discernment. But discernment has been around long before the term was defined. The reading from 1st Kings is like a text book case. It opens and you have Samuel still clinging to Saul as leader, as anointed king, favored by God - even though God has clearly declared that in spite of his anointing Saul is going to be replaced. So Samuel's adherence to tradition is being challenged. On the surface what he is doing is foolhardy and dangerous - he has a secure place with the king - why jeopardize it? Why not collude with Saul and try to affect change for the better within the existing system? Samuel is given little time to grieve over Saul and then God insists he get right back to work! So, with some trepidation, he sets out - trepidation because he about to anoint a new 'chosen one' of God while the old one is still alive and kicking.

Samuel trusts God and arriving at Jesse's he insists on seeing all his sons. I am sure that Jesse, along with everyone else in the village thought their time was up and this was some of selection of execution. As Jesse's first son comes forward - and Samuel using the human tool of sight and reason deduces this is the one; he looks the part and Samuel says:- 'Surely the LORD's anointed is now before the LORD.' God intervenes; Discernment is not simply decision making: it is the perception of that which is obscure. Perception is not an exact science

But the LORD said to Samuel, 'Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the LORD does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.'

This perception of, or perspective of God - to look inward into our hearts - to fully know who we have been, who we are, and who we can be -that is the perspective, the viewpoint to which we aspire in discernment. In the Psalm we are asked God to grant us our heart's desire - God knows what that desire is long before we do - Sometimes you fight a calling, and you resist because you think you know better -I was sure I was called to be a scholar and university professor - I had a neat and tidy plan all organised and plotted out - but there was insistent unsettled yearning, an incessant and insistent nudging that finally, I could not ignore. Often we makes decisions based on surface knowledge, trying to make sensible and logical decisions, often afraid of taking a chance - we are operating from a model of scarcity: -trying to amass an abundance of things (like those chariots and horses in the Psalm)rather than trusting in the abundance of God's mercy and love.

This thread runs though the letter of Paul to the Corinthians as he speaks about proclaiming the good news "boasting about [that] so that you may be able to answer those who boast in outward appearance and not in the heart".

Paul writes about this shift in perspective occurring because of the life death and resurrection of Jesus Christ- the paschal mystery:

From now on, therefore, we regard no one from a human point of view; even though we once knew Christ from a human point of view, we know him no longer in that way. So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!

Surely that is what our baptism and our faith is all about - responding to an experience of God, discerning, seeking to understand the mystery of God in our lives, the service to which God calls us. - This is a life long journey we take together; with each other and with God, never alone: Paul says:

So we are always confident; even though we know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord- for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we do have confidence ... So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to serve God.

We will always be faithfully seeking understanding of the mystery of our experience of God, this mysterious reign of God - already here and not yet fully realized. We do this in prayer, both alone and in community, through discerning with the input of the community - just as when a postulant I prayed and discerned - in my original community, in this community and others as an intern, in the university community and many other parts of the Body of Christ: all seeking together - not eschewing the use of reason and intellect, certainly in our discernment we use the tools of theology, of science, of history, of tradition, of scripture, of dialogue and discussion. But if we rely solely on these human tools we will fall short of the abundant love of God the love so eloquently and puzzlingly described in the two parables we heard today in Mark.

In Mark, Jesus inaugurates the reign or kingdom of God by engaging the powers of sickness, sin and evil he heals the sick, forgives sins, and confronts/exposes evil as he encounters it. Jesus is the ultimate model of servant, of service to God and to others.

The reign of God which Jesus initiates and illustrates in these parables is the unfathomable, unreasonable, radical, abundant, love of God - the seed which the kingdom, the love, the grace of God is sown: the seed is scattered on the ground, (scattered everywhere - catholic = universal). The seed grows in ways we do not understand, it develops; we do not earn it or merit it. [The sower] would sleep and rise night and day, and the seed would sprout and grow, he does not know how. God's love is available to all and all will be gathered together in a wonderful harvest.

The second parable illustrates the same thing - the mustard seed grows to a tree - that is akin to saying a the seed of lettuce grows to a tree. The mustard plant is like mint. It would never be sown indiscriminately because it would infest everywhere. It also only grows to about four feet - more of a shrub than a tree! Jesus' listeners must have said "What is he talking about?"- That is the whole purpose of the parable - to turn upside down the way we think - to break open new meaning. Jesus was thinking outside the box in the first century! What is the reign of God like? What is the love of God? Love spreads everywhere - and grows in ways that are impossible and are beyond what we can ask or imagine. Our human point of view is too limited alone - we need to broaden our perspective; to awaken our hearts to the new birth of our baptism -the repeatable part of which we celebrate in the Eucharist each Sunday -we are called to gather to be transformed, renewed and strengthened: mediating on the word of God, praying and sharing in this banquet of abundant love.

It is this continually renewed perception, renewed hope, which enables us to discern and to move forward and to serve others.

So how are we at St. John's to serve and discern discerning service to God and others?

This week I helped to lead a Baptismal preparation class, And the two young families present spoke about how they had been married here and when they first arrived how welcome they felt - how "at home", accepted for who they were, included and loved.

And on Friday of course we celebrated the official dedication of the Somerset Gardens - the affordable, down town housing which St. John, as part of the Multifaith Housing Initiative, has played a significant role.

In addition to helping with the sheltering of those in need physically; the nourish women and children at the Well, have an active Refugee program, are alive in prayer, pastoral ministry and social justice issues - just to name a few. We are moving forward, growing and discerning - recognizing when ministries are need of revitalization, or being open to the possibilities of new ways of service.

I am honoured and so very happy to be a deacon with you - to have the opportunity to learn and to teach, to model and grow as together we discerning our path of service and love.

Let us now prepare to approach the table with joy and certain hope, expecting to be transformed: empowered to go out, loving and serving ourselves, others, and the whole of God's creation.