The Church of St John the Evangelist
Diocese of Ottawa The Anglican Church of Canada

A Homo-History of St John's Church

St John's has a long history of being an open, welcoming church for gay people. The first rector, Canon Gorman, had a son, Eric (1892-1958), who was gay. Remembering him, one elderly parishioner commented, "back then we didn't talk about it, but everybody knew and loved him just the same." In the 1960s and 70s gay men living in Centretown were active members of St John's. In the mid 1980s when Allen Box was the rector, the AIDS epidemic struck, and gay people and their families came to the church looking for support. Under Allen's direction, a ministry to people with AIDS was begun. The curate, Desirée Stedman, was extremely supportive of the gay couples who came to her for help.

In 1991 Garth Bulmer became the rector of St John's Church, and he has been an outspoken advocate for gay people. He has been featured in church publications and in the secular press as a strong proponent of the blessing of same-sex relationships by the Church. His leadership has resulted in exciting growth in both membership and active ministry at St John's. Our parish is frequently associated with this issue because we actively and publicly support the participation of gay people in the Church, and the participation of the Church in the lives of gay people.

St John's Contribution to the Diocesan Task Force

The Diocesan Task Force on the Implications of Blessing Same-Sex Unions was established by Bishop Coffin in response to a motion made by our rector at Diocesan Synod in 2002. Two members of our parish, Nicole Uzans and Gordon Johnston, attended the day-long workshop presented by the Task Force in November 2003, and they subsequently held consultations with members of the parish.

Concurrent with our consultations for the Task Force, St John's held a short series of discussion evenings on gay and lesbian spirituality. During those sessions, many people shared stories of being ostracized from churches, families, workplaces and community because of their sexuality. Again and again we heard that the journey back to church is fraught with questions and caution, but impelled by a profound desire to worship God in community. Gay and lesbian people step tentatively across the threshold of the Anglican Church. One recent newcomer remarked that he was amazed week after week to hear such affirming messages proclaimed to gays and straights alike at St John's. One got the impression that he expected to be denounced by the church because he is gay. His trust in the church, and indeed in the gospel message of love and acceptance, is growing, but fragile. We believe it is incumbent upon the Anglican Church to hear the trepidation with which gay people approach the church, to eliminate the climate of fear surrounding sexual diversity in our midst, and to nurture healthy spirituality in all people and all Anglican communities.

Many members of our parish are frustrated by the slow progress the Anglican Church is making in affirming the wholeness and dignity of all persons, gay and straight. In hearing the stories and experiences of others through this consultation process, many of us came to a new understanding of our own stories. One woman who had divorced and remarried in the church said that the consultations helped her see both her own experience and that of her gay friends differently. Had the church abandoned her when her first marriage fell apart or refused to acknowledge her relationship when she chose to remarry, she would have been incensed and probably would have left the church. By reimagining her own situation in light of the exclusion that gay and lesbian couples' experience in the church, she felt a deep connection to the issue of the blessing of same-sex unions.

To be part of a church that celebrates the sacraments of baptism and communion with all its members is to celebrate the gospel of Christ. But to be part of a church that excludes gays and lesbians from the sacrament of marriage is a situation that many St Johnians find uncomfortable, or even unconscionable. During the Thanksgiving Sunday service last fall, two people who are known and loved in the parish were married. At the exchange of vows, the rector invited the families of the couple to stand. A few people rose. He invited the friends of the couple to stand, and the entire congregation thundered to its feet. Will we do all in our power to support and uphold this marriage? Yes, we will. Would we make such a vow before God and to the gay and lesbian couples in our community? Yes, we would. All people are called into relationships with one another. It is not enough to affirm gays and lesbians as individuals within the Anglican communion. We must affirm, celebrate, and bless same-sex unions.

A word from Nicole ...

It has been a pleasure to facilitate discussions on the implications of the blessing of same-sex unions at St John's. I came to St John's eight years ago knowing it to be a warm place where all were welcome, regardless of their sexual orientation. In fact, that was a determining factor in my choice of congregation when I decided I wanted to go back to church after moving out of my parents' home and establishing myself in a new city. Since then plenty of newcomers have arrived at St John's, and for many of them this consultation was the first opportunity they had had to talk about sexual orientation in such an accepting religious community.

A word from Gordon ...

I have a deep love and respect for the Anglican church, and for the Anglican way of doing theology -- balancing scripture, tradition and reason, looking for the ongoing activity of God in the world and in our lives. Being gay is such an intrinsic part of who I am, it is basic to my entire experience of life, and of God. My relationship with my life-partner is the joy and light of my life, and I know beyond any question that it is a gift from God, and is blessed by God. I wish all gay and lesbian people could experience the joy and support from their parishes that we have felt from our beloved parish of St John's.

On Sundays, January 18 and January 25, 2004, members of The Church of St John the Evangelist were invited to participate in discussing the work of the Diocesan Task Force on the Implications of Blessing Same-Sex Unions. 58 people attended, and discussed the question, What is God saying to me, my faith, and my community about the blessing of same-sex unions? The following are their comments.

Do gay and lesbian people feel that our parish is a blessing to them?

My first marriage to a woman was a wonderful adventure. I would like to be able to experience that again with my same-sex partner. Calling it "marriage" makes it complicated for straight people. Whatever you call it, I just wish the church could minister the blessing of God in our life as a couple.

God blesses relationships whether or not the church does. Benefit of clergy does not make relationships good or bad.

There's a noisy tail trying to wag the dog. Most people support this.

This is a vibrant faith community, a special place, in part because of the contributions of gay and lesbian people.

I am concerned about my children. The symbolic barriers must come down for the sake of my children. I want the church to be there for them, however they turn out.

Love comes from God, therefore gay and lesbian loving relationships are intrinsically sanctified. Marriage is a celebration of finding this love and asking the community to respect this love. Being gay is a blessing from God.

This parish shows leadership and I am proud of it. The fact that my life partner is a Christian is an important part of our relationship, since we approach our life together from a faith perspective. This community is an important source of support for us.

My sister is a lesbian and I would love to be able to share her relationship here in this community.

As a parishioner, I should have the same rights as anyone else in this parish.

We are fortunate to have the voice of gay and lesbian people in our parish.

As members of the Body of Christ, we are the gospel. The church welcomes gay people, and offers them baptism and eucharist. According to the Thirty-Nine Articles, those are the greater sacraments (Article XXV). How can we admit people to the greater sacraments while denying them a lesser sacrament?

It is evil to suggest that gay people should either be celibate or enter into heterosexual marriage.

As a parish, we should support both the blessing and the marriage.

If we continue to exclude people, the church will be extremely irrelevant to the coming generation.

Marriage is not a gift we will bestow upon gay people, it is a gift they will give to the community. The church has a bad history of shutting people out (e.g., divorced people) which is contrary to the will of God.

My partner and I came to this church because it welcomes gay people. We would like to have the option of being married in this church.

Marriage is a terrible role model, but if that's the legal and societal norm for relationships then it should be across the board. Mainstream assimilation is sad.

What picture of the gospel do we present by discriminating against gay people. Anglican unity is a worthy goal, but not at the expense of human hearts.

Same-sex marriage is an expansive concept.

Sexuality is not the only thing in our lives, and focusing so much on it diverts attention from more important things.

I came to this church because it stands up and confronts difficult issues. I am totally in favour of gay marriage because I have seen the effects of discrimination against gay people. I don't want to belong to a church that treats people that way.

I always thought that marriage was about loving and taking care of each other. How can we deny gay people that? The open, loving spirit of this congregation is what drew me here.

Anything less than marriage is still the back of the bus.

The blessing of my nephew's same-sex union was a blessing to our whole extended family. Is this the thin edge of the wedge for recognizing other kinds of alternative relationships?

Who knows. It's a wonderful thing to expand your mind.

We can't be motivated by speculation about the future or about other relationships. We must be motivated by doing what's right in the situation at hand.

Homosexuality is as natural as left-handedness. God made homosexual people in the same way he made heterosexual people. When the love between two people is of such intensity that they want to share everything, that relationship should be blessed and supported by the church.

I hope the church will move quickly toward the blessing of same-sex unions. I am unsure about calling it "marriage", but eventually that should happen. We should at least have civil unions sanctioned by the state and blessed by the church.

I can't wait for this to happen. This is part of God's dream. I think of it in terms of righting a wrong, in terms of justice.

We should get on with it as quickly as possible.

When my same-sex partner and I were married, my daughters and grand-daughter were there. The fact that I met this man is a miracle. He is a gift from God. We are married, and you can call it what you like. This is what God wanted us to do. We were heartbroken to learn we could not be married in our own parish.

We felt God's blessing when we were married.

My same-sex partner and I were married in November. We were sad we couldn't be married here. Our marriage was a wonderful, God-filled event, but we missed doing it in our own church surrounded by our parish family.

I attended the wedding of two gay parishioners last fall. It was so sad not to be in our church, and that the officiating clergy didn't really know them like we do, and like our priest does. Let's get on with this, it's so important.

I watch the gay couples in our parish, and I see the work of God acting powerfully in their lives. The present church policy amounts to man standing in the way of God's work. Let's not just call it a civil union, let's go the whole way and do what's right.

I am older than anyone here, and while I struggle with the word "marriage", it is clearly obvious to me that these relationships should be blessed by the church, the sooner the better.

Marriage it is!

Until you call it the same thing, it's not equal. Would heterosexual couples be fully satisfied with replacing marriage with a civil union? My former relationship was torpedoed by a partner who felt he had to hide our relationship from his family.

If we go for "union" instead of "marriage", we'll have to go through this whole thing again. Let's just do what's right and call it marriage. It worked for my husband and me, I highly recommend marriage.

I think God is calling this community to speak our experience with humility and gentleness, but also with strength and authority.

When I came out as a gay man many years ago, I rejected the religion that rejected me. Now through my partner I have found my faith again. The first time I came to this parish I felt at home, and we have felt that way ever since.

The country may take its time around this issue, but the church should move ahead independently and quickly.

Think about the rejection. How can we reject gay people? As Christians we need to be public about our support of gay people.