| Readings for this service: Isaiah 55. 10-11 (en francaise) A reading from The Prophet by Gibran Mattew 13.1-9
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Is the church ... the thorns? | |
| the Church and the Supreme Court |
I will tell you honestly that there are too many days when it feels like the thorns. While the Church is debating whether Gays and Lesbians form relationships they even need to acknowledge let alone bless, the Supreme Court is saying that we are protected from persecution not only as individuals but in relationship. While the Church still tries to make hiding your orientation a condition of ordination for Gays and Lesbians, Pride day in Toronto had crowds of about a million people, corporate sponsorship and two TV stations covering it live for 3 hours. | |
| Having said that, one thing we must remember about the parable of the sower from Matthew is that the sower sows his seeds everywhere not knowing ahead of time if the soil is good or not but trusting in God that enough seeds will find fertile soil that an abundant harvest is insured. | the sower sows his seeds everywhere | |
| Lambeth '98 |
When something like Lambeth happens it is hard to believe that any of the seeds we have sown in the church have taken root at all. Lambeth is a meeting of all the bishops in the Anglican communion which happens every ten years in England. Last year it was dominated by a hideously awful homophobic debate and resulting resolution on homosexuality. However, it is important to remember three things about what happened at Lambeth: | |
| First, that following the passing of that resolution 188 bishops including 19 primates signed a pastoral letter to Lesbian and Gay Anglicans, apologizing for the hurt caused to us by the resolution and promising to continue working for our full inclusion in the life of the church. This number included our primate and 16 other Canadian bishops, just under half of the Canadian bishops. However, as Chris, the other Co-Convener of Integrity Toronto pointed out to me, the Bishops that signed represent significantly more than half the Anglican's in Canada. | a pastoral letter to Lesbian and Gay Anglicans | |
| The second thing to remember is that I have heard a number of the Bishops who were at Lambeth say that even the most conservative of the Canadian Bishops were horrified by the tone of the debates. | Canadian Bishops were horrified | |
| And the third thing to remember about Lambeth is that the report produced by the panel of Bishops who had actually worked on this issue for three weeks was substantially more liberal than the resolution passed in the house. The resolution in the house was passed by people who had not worked on the issue and so were voting their prejudices. The panel who worked on this issue included the most vocal Bishops on both sides of the debate. Even considering that, when they actually worked on the issue together they were able to produce a report that, while still conservative, was much more accepting than the resolution ultimately passed. | voting their prejudices | |
| the most unexpected soil turns out to be fertile |
Sometimes the most unexpected soil turns out to be fertile. I sat in the gallery at the triennial Canadian synod last year and watched the debate on a resolution designed to affirm the churches commitment to Heterosexual marriage as the only acceptable relationship before god. By all rights that should have been very rocky ground indeed, but I watched in amazement as in no time at all the resolution was amended so much that it ended up affirming the need for the Church to keep studying the issue and working towards a fuller inclusion of Gays and Lesbians in the life of the Church. The most important thing I have learned in my 15 years of being involved in the Gay and Lesbian movement is that I have yet to meet a single person who said to me "I support Gay rights but you are the first Gay person I have ever met." Every supportive straight person I have met has said that they have a family member or a friend who is gay, and that their love and respect for that person was what made them realize that we are valuable members of society and deserve to be treated like it. |
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| It is a simple fact of human nature that we are afraid of what we do not know. If we hide away in our closets and do not let people inside and outside the Church know that they do, in fact, know somebody who is Gay or Lesbian we conspire with our own oppression. People will only change their negative attitudes about Gays and Lesbians when they get to know us. We can not deny them that opportunity. | People will only change ... when they get to know us | |
| most people when given the chance to know us will accept us |
As a Lesbian activist I have taken part in rallies, marched in parades, written letters of protest, and even filed a human rights complaint to get the Ontario government to amend its change of name act to include people who are changing their name on the basis of a Gay or Lesbian conjugal relationship. I consider all of these things important, but more important than any of that is that I have talked openly to people about my experiences as a Lesbian in society and in the Church and I have talked to people about how their attitudes and those of society and of the Church hurt me. There are some people who will not change their minds about us no matter how long we talk to them, but most people when given the chance to know us will accept us. |
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Seven years ago I accepted a job in the accounting department of Winners Apparel which was, at that time, a fairly small but growing company. I will admit that accepting that job was hard for me. I was afraid that I would give up the job I had only to get there and find out that my new bosses were more homophobic than my old boss and that I would dead end in the job or worse, be fired. I considered trying to hide who I was but the decision was effectively taken away from me by somebody else who was hired at the same time. She overheard me talking to Michelle on the phone and asked me point blank if I was a Lesbian. I would never lie about this so I said yes. She said, while that was fine with her she thought our mutual boss would not take it well. I knew she was very ambitious and would do whatever she could to discredit me and I could not risk her controlling how my boss found out that I was a Lesbian. I made a point of put Michelle's picture on my desk and of mentioning Michelle by name when asked about what I had done on the weekend. I was relieved to quickly find out that both my boss and my boss' boss did not care who I lived with as long as I was a good accountant. When the woman I mentioned earlier realized my bosses did not care that I was a Lesbian she tried to make my orientation an issue with my co-workers. I tried to deal with it by talking to her myself but my boss found out what had been happening and intervened. He apologized to me and a warning letter was put in her file saying that homophobia would not be tolerated by Winners. The interesting thing about all of this is that she was totally unsuccessful at turning anyone against me and instead only ended up alienating herself. She could not make my orientation an issue because I had always been honest about who I was. She could not surprise anybody with a grand pronouncement or juicy gossip, people knew who I was and accepted me for myself because I gave them the chance to. That is the only time in the last seven years that anyone at Winners has tried to make an issue of my orientation. Seven years later Winner's is a much bigger company and I am a senior manager with a good future ahead of me, and she is gone. I do realize that it is very unchristian of me to gloat but it was nice to know that there was no question about who Winners would protect. |
 Seven years at Winners | |
| We must sow our seeds generously | Exactly the same principle applies within the church. We must sow our seeds generously, be honest about who we are, be counted as valuable members of the church, give people a chance to realize that we are not as strange or threatening as they imagined and trust in God that enough of the seeds will find fertile soil that an abundant harvest is insured. | |
| It is only by putting a human face, our face, on the label Gay and Lesbian that we will ever change attitudes in the church. We must remember the words of the prophet "We are the seeds of the tenacious plant, and it is in our ripeness and our fullness of heart that we are given to the wind." I will not tell you will never be hurt, I can guarantee you will be, but I can tell you that I was hurt far more before I was honest with people. Remember we are tenacious plants we have survived this long we can persevere a little longer. | we are tenacious plants ... we can persevere | |
| live your life honestly and give people a chance |
Even though sometimes it seems that progress happens at the speed of molasses in January, when I honestly look back at where we were 15 years ago compared to where we are today in terms of rights and acceptance I can see that we are making a difference. Canadians as a whole and Anglicans in particular are a very polite people, take advantage of that. Act like you expect to be accepted and a surprising amount of the time you will be. I am not telling you to try to change the laws, I'm not telling you to write letters or join protests if you do not want to, but I do ask that you live your life honestly and that you give people a chance to really know who you are not just an edited version of yourself. Give people a chance to realize that they do know Gay and Lesbian people and that they like and respect them and there is no reason to be afraid of us and every reason to protect us. |
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I will end by quoting Isaiah, "So shall my word be that goes forth from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty but it shall accomplish that which I propose, and prosper in the thing for which I sent it."
This is my hope, |
Copyright © 1999 Bonnie Crawford-Bewley
Bonnie is Co-Convener of Integrity / Toronto, a group of gay and lesbian Anglicans and friends.